Interlude: The Deep Mangrove
"You say you got these from old Mother Dim?" he asked?
"Yes" said Vangeline.
"And what did she have to say about it?"
"She said I should come see you. She said she reckoned someone was calling in a favor. I don't understand that part."
Fiddlesticks Joe got even paler.
"I reckon I understand that part, me" he said softly. "Mais".
Fiddlestick's looked at the other two cards. He picked up the one marked "The Tower, that looked like a tall island in a swamp"
"This one be in the Deep Mangrove I reckon, gives me the freezawns just looking at it."
Finally, as if reluctant, he picked up the final card, the one marked "The Devil" that showed a picture of a smiling well dressed man in a fancy yellow jacket and a cane.
"I know this couillion, me. This one I met before. His name is 'Papa Carefour'. He the Loa of the Crossroads, him. What he want with a little sha pischouette like you then?"
"I don't know" said Vangeline. "But I think I need to go there to that island and find out"
Fiddlesticks Joe did not look happy to hear this. However, after a few seconds of deep thought he responded.
"Well, I guess I got to help you, me, got a gris-gris from Pappa Carrefour that says so. But we need help ourselves, oui. Up the bayou is dangerous see, tataille, rougarou, all sorts of bad things up bayou. But I know a man. If he can't get us there, no one can."
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His long buccaneer gun lay on the table next to him, within easy reach, and he wore a pair of large knives at his belt. When they found him, he was busy gulping down some kind of stew called "Gumbo" that seemed to be the specialty of this eating establishment. Kitty could smell fish in it, normally she would be acutely interested, but her belly was still filled to bursting with stolen salmon, so her interest at this point was academic.
"Nephew!" he cried, interrupting his stew, as he saw Fiddlesticks walking up. "Bonjour, Comment ça va? How’s ya mama an’ them?"
"Bien, bien" returned Fiddlesticks smiling broadly. "Mi mama, she be doing well, and me frères et soeurs."
Fiddlesticks, followed by Vangeline slid onto the bench across from Fontenot,
"Bien, Bien. Que est la petite fille?" asked Fontenot taking notice of Vangeline.
"My name is Vangeline" Vangeline replied tranquilly. "Fiddlesticks says you will help us?"
After a brief explanation of their request, Fontenot's response was a passionate negative.
"No. No. Strictemente no! Mon Dieu! Couillon, you. You can't take a little girl up bayou! It's terrible dangerous! How old is she? sept, huit?"
"As you understand time, I am almost eight and a half" said Vangeline gravely. "But I'm mature for my age."
"I must go, mi oncle." replied Fiddlesticks sadly. "It's the gris-gris from my dyin. It calls me. And la petite fille is part of it"
"Mon Dieu" replied Fontenot more subdued this time. "Truly?"
"Show him the cards, Vangeline".
Fontenot carefully inspected the three tarot cards, swearing all the while quietly under his breath.
"This looks like you, fersur" he commented morosely.
"Is this mon who I think he is?" he asked.
"Pappa Carrefour, himself" replied Fiddlesticks. “As he looked to me when last I seen him.”
"Mon Dieu".
"Nonc, you are the best swamp man on this island. You know every turn, isle and channel of La Mangrove Profun . I must go up bayou and so must la petite fille. Will you take us?"
"You do not know what you ask, mi neveux. I know this island, I have seen it once, it lies in the very heart, le cœur of La Mangrove Profun. It is a very strange and unusual place."
"I, myself, am strange and unusual" replied Vangeline. "It sounds like just the place for me"
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"It will take at least three days to reach the island" said Fontenot. "I know the way but it is not easy. And every league of it is dangerous. Many creatures live up bayou, and most are not friendly to man. You must pole the piragua Joe, and I will keep watch"
"And we'll watch too" said Lieutenant Kitty to her companions. "Not like this idiot human would see the broadside of a frigate coming straight at him at noontime."
"KILL'EMALL" screeched Dirtybird. "FUCKTHALOTTAYA". "FUCKINGSWAMPBEWARE"
And on that note, they paddled out of town and upriver into the swamp.
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The first half of the day passed relatively uneventfully. As the small boat made it's way up the Bayou, the main channel of the river quickly fragmented into a myriad of channels and waterways. The massive root systems of the mangroves were ever present, slightly underwater, difficult to see, and as the channels narrowed the canopy of mangrove and willow trees closed in over their heads, blocking out the sun until they paddled and poled down a dim green tunnel.
Vangeline and even the animals were quickly lost in the maze of winding waterways, however Fontenot led them with a surety that spoke to long familiarity.
Both Lieutenant Kitty and GoodBoy were feeling nervous. While they were both intimately familiar with sea voyages by this time, this river trip was a different beast entirely. The small boat felt far more precarious then the tall ships were, the heavy swamp air brought a myriad of unfamiliar smells, some of which signaled danger in to animal minds. The channels felt narrow and claustrophobic, with the potential for danger lurking behind every tree.
Even Blundermonkey, more familiar with dense canopies and far less worried then the cat and dog about an unanticipated dip in the stagnant water, was on edge, keeping his hand resting on his blunderbuss. Only DirtyBird seemed unaffected, flitting gayly too and fro, ahead, behind, to the side of the boat, muttering under his breath.
Yet still, the swamp held a certain wild loveliness as well that was not lost on any of them.
"This place is strange" said Vangeline.
"Aye, La Mangrove Profun is a strange, strange place mi cherie." Fontenot replied. "But it is not evil. Just not a human place. To be respected, oui. There are many dangers here though, even for the wary."
As if on cue, GoodBoy stood up straight in the center of the boat, his nose pointed slightly to port, and began growling.
"What do smell, boy?" Fiddlesticks asked.
"There, between those two trees. La Gran Crapaud! Backpaddle!"
The frog was the size of a horse and even as they started to try to evade it, it's massive rear legs propelled it forward in a massive leap.
Almost as fast, Fontenot unslung his long musket, trying to squeeze off a shot even as the giant frog hurtled through the air at them. He shot at it in mid leap, but the shot went wide and the frog was upon them. The whole boat shook and threatened to capsize as it landed partially inside.
"Ook!" said Blundermonkey in satisfaction. through the cloud of gunsmoke that nearly obscured him.
The frog's massive tongue shot out, closed the distance, and attempted to latch on the GoodBoy who barely managed to avoid the strike through pure instinct.
Near the front of the boat, the first frog was attempting to clamber aboard and close with Fontenot. However, it discounted the small black bundle of fur that guarded the prow, as clearly too small to present a threat.
This proved to be a mistake. Kitty might be small but her claws were sharp and she fought dirty. With a hiss, she darted forward and brought both sets of front claws raking down across one of the frogs bulbous, protruding eyes. Dark green ichor gushed from the wound, blinding the creature. As it bellowed in pain. Kitty quickly retreated out of reach.
At the rear of the boat, DirtyBird swooped down, pecking at the gutshot frog. He didn't do much damage but his buffeting wings, beak and claws distracted it long enough for Blundermonkey to reload. Another crashing "Boom" and the second frog was torn virtually in half and sank below the water.
In the meantime Fontenot took advantage of the remaining frog's blindness to slip past it's defenses and sink both his large knives into it's skull. The frog gushed green blood, burbled and sank into the swamp.
Fontenot, visibly shaken, pulled a rag from his pocket and cleaned his long knives.
"Those fellas would make quite some cuisses de grenouille, too bad the swamp take them, eh Fiddlesticks?"
"Your stomach, you always think with your stomach, you" he replied good-naturedly, picking back up his paddle and steering the pirogue back into the channel.
"I need a pistol" said Vangeline.
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"Ahh he's a big bastard isn't hey" Look at him sitting there pretending to be a log" said Fontenot. "Good thing we have dez animals with us, yup yup. That bird spotted him a ways out. Good bird"
"Ahh he's a big bastard isn't hey" Look at him sitting there pretending to be a log" said Fontenot. "Good thing we have dez animals with us, yup yup. That bird spotted him a ways out. Good bird"
DirtyBird preened.
"Can we go around 'em?" asked Fiddlesticks.
"Nay, that is the only channel I know take us where we want to be."
“Best get to it then”. Fontenot unlimbered his long musket, checked the powder and carefully sighted down the barrel.
"BOOM" the shot rang out, startling a legion of birds into the air and temporarily wreathing the boat in smoke
"I got him, for sure, but may not be dead. He slipped into the water."
All was completely quiet, the boat rocking gently on the dark water, the occupants peering intently over the side for any sign of the huge alligator. DirtyBird lazily circled over the boat, high above, no fool he, he had seen alligators jump.
"It coming for us" he said. "Be ready"
Suddenly DirtyBird squawked "ISEETHEBASTARD". A second later the alligator leaped out of the water right next to the boat, huge jaws closing on Fontenot.
Even alerted, the Ranger was unable to even strike a blow before the croc had him. He screamed as teeth like knives sheared through his leather jerkin and latched on to him, dealing him a grievous wound.
"The smell of snake is getting very strong." said Kitty. GoodBoy nodded. "We needs to warn Vangeline." The dog and cat looked at DirtyBird.
"AHHH it's got me, Mon Dieu!"
Blundermonkey fired his blunderbuss into the side of the huge beast, but this time he didn't manage to set his feet properly against the recoil. While the shot struck true, the unfortunate monkey was thrown backward with a startled "OOK", overboard and into the fetid swampwater
"OOK-sputtersputter"
Fiddlesticks, cursing, was battering the gator with his oar, but the boat was half capsized by the monster and his blows were weak and ineffective. Things looked bleak for the heroes. Until GoodBoy joined the fray.
GoodBoy hadn't been happy with his performance in the battle with the frogs. He hadn't felt able to do much, afraid that by using his powers he might capsize the boat with his size. However, with his friends looking to be overwhelmed, he threw caution to the wind.
Howling his battle cry he leapt high into the air, over the side of the boat directly at the gator. As he did so, he shapeshifted in mid air, and instead of a terrier, a dire wolf the size of a small elephant came crashing down on the surprised alligator. His mighty jaws found their hold and snapped shut, his huge teeth ripping through even the gators tough hide and locking on it's shoulder’s meat, tearing viciously ever deeper, as his powerful jaws ground shut. The water was still too deep for his feet to find purchase, but dog paddling madly, he refused to let loose his death grip on the gator.
The gator shook Fontenot flipping him back and forth like a rag doll, then as the pain of GoodBoy's assault finally registered in it's dim reptile brain it convulsed madly flinging the unfortunate ranger into the air and then into the water, as it turned his attention to the Dire Wolf.
And there the two colossal animals battled. GoodBoy was not in his native element, his feet pumping madly, struggling without finding footing, but he never released his death grip on his foe. The gator, unable to bring it's jaws to bear shook the Dire Wolf back and forth, frothing the water white with it's rage, but was unable to get free from the Dire Wolf's jaws. All its violent shaking managed to accomplish was to further tear and rend its own flesh.
Still, things probably would not have ended well for GoodBoy. Eventually the gator would have attempted to submerge and drown his prey, and that would have left the wolf with few good options. Blundermonkey was no further help, he had regained the boat, but was hopping up and down in frustration, ineffectively Ook'ing, after several attempts at reloading and firing his waterlogged blunderbuss had failed.
DirtyBird was flying around the gator's head pecking and annoying it, but with little effect.
Fortunately, Fontenot, bleeding profusely, had also managed to clamber back into the boat, with Fiddlestick's help. He scooped his musket off the floor of the boat where he had dropped it earlier to draw his knives, his firearm at least had avoided the fate of Blundermonkey’s weapon.
"Only one shot" he murmured to himself. "My powder may well be wet. Need to make it count"
"BOOM" the great musket barked, blowing a large hole in the head of the unfortunate gator. It's struggles stopped immediately, and it started to sink slowly under the water.
GoodBoy savaged it for a second or two more, then finally unclamped his jaw and swam back toward the boat. Before the gator entirely vanished under the water, DirtyBird swooped down and shit on it.
As GoodBoy reached the side of the boat, his form shimmered again and transformed back into a terrier. Vangeline reached down over the side and easily scooped him into her arms.
"Good boy" she murmured, cuddling the wet bloody dog. "Good boy!" He wiggled excitedly and licked her face.
Both Fontenot and Fiddlesticks were staring at the scene with slack jaws.
"Mon Dieu" asked Fiddlesticks. "What kind of pets are these?"
Vangeline just smiled.
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Lieutenant Kitty smiled to herself while nonchalantly licking a paw. The sprites clearly didn't realize she could see them. Trusting in their faerie glamour to render them invisible to mortal eyes, four of them swarmed around the boat examining the occupants, japing at one another and silently giggling. They were about the size of a large crow, little elves sporting gauzy wings, colorfully dressed. Heavily armed though, with miniature bows and arrows, and tiny daggers.
"Not much experience with cats" she thought to herself in a satisfied fashion. She was careful to not do anything to reveal that she could see them, quietly grooming herself and biding her time as they became more and more confident. Cats understood patience. Eventually one of them wandering close enough.
POUNCE!
The sprite was taken entirely by surprise, as Kitty leapt on it, knocking it from the air and pinning it to the ground with both forepaws, needle sharp teeth gently locked around it's tiny neck.
"You must be lunch" she purred sweetly.
"Arrggg" the sprite gurgled. "Don't eat me, miss cat please, I mean no harm, we were just funnin'!" it squeaked through it's partially obstructed windpipe.
"And why shouldn't I eat you?" purred Kitty. "You've gone through all the trouble to bring me my lunch, it would be rude to refuse it!"
"My friends will shoot you down!" the sprite exclaimed.
"Not before I snap your neck they won't" Kitty purred back. "And then I will deal with them as well."
The sprite whimpered.
"Tell them to lower their weapons and make themselves visible to my friends" she purred. The sprite hesitated and she tightened the grip of her jaws until she felt her needle teeth slightly penetrate it's skin, and heard it squeak.
"Mon Dieu!" exclaimed Fontenot as the four sprites suddenly materialized around him. The crew sprang into action, GoodBoy growled and prepared to pounce, Blundermonkey drew his gun.
"No, no!" the captured sprite squealed. "Please, we don't want to fight, we will help you! You have my word! Just call off your monster cat!"
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The island looked exactly like it had in the picture, the largest they had yet seen in the swamp, longer then it was wide, with a long rising ridge that ended in a conical hillock on the western end. There was a thicket of thorny underbrush ringing it about a third of the way up the side but the ridge seemed bare. With the sprites to escort them, there had been no further trouble traveling, though the little faeries seemed to consider their promise fulfilled the instant the island came within sight, and vanished.
The faeries had not stopped for nightfall, though they had lit the way with floating witchlights. So it was in the early light of the rising sun that a very tired Fontenot dragged the pirogue's bow up on the muddy beach, stretched his aching muscles, pulled out his pipe and lit it up. He was remarkably healed from his incident with the alligator. Vangeline suspected Fiddlestick and his magical fiddle had a lot to do with that.
"So, la petite fille, what now?" he asked.
"We need to go to the top I think" she replied. She wasn't sure how she knew this, but she did.
It turned out to be easier said then done. The thorny thicket that ringed the base of the hill was extremely thick and virtually impassable.
"Think we should circle it, see if there is an easier way through" said Fontenot after hacking unsuccessfully at the briars with his knife.
"They had nearly circumnavigated the island before they found a narrow tunnel leading through the thicket, just big enough for an eight year old girl to worm through, or her pets, but much too small for a grown man.
"GoodBoy smells something." said GoodBoy to the other animals, sniffing around the tunnel.
"Snake" responded Kitty. "I smell snake."
Vangeline considered the tunnel. "I guess we go on alone from here."
Fontenot had taken some convincing but Vangeline could be very stubborn and Fiddlesticks had unexpectedly supported her.
"I think this is as it must be my uncle" he had said gravely. "This song was always to end this way."
Eventually Fontenot had agreed to let her proceed while vowing to come after her if she hadn't returned by sunset, even if he had to burn his way through the thicket.
The brambles were surprisingly thick, but the passage was just big enough for Vangeline to navigate, as it twisted and wound it's way ever deeper. Eventually it emerged from the brambles on the other side. They were near the top of the ridge now, where it flattened out and was less heavily overgrown. A faint trail led from the passage upward along the ridge toward the high knoll at the western edge of the island.
DirtyBird's ability to communicate with humans was far superior to the other animals but still somewhat limited. While all the animals could understand the common human tongue only DirtyBird could come close to speaking it. And he was limited to repeating phrases he had heard. Given that he had spent the vast majority of his life around pirates, unless he was cursing, his vocabulary was limited. He wracked his parrot brain for anything about snakes.
"ARRK. I GOT A SNAKE IN MY PANTS AND IT'S HAPPY TO SEE YEE" he shrilled.
Vangeline looked disgusted.
"AAAARK LETS PLAY HIDE THE PYTHON, LASSY!!" he thundered
"Please DirtyBird, be quiet, this is not the time for that"
He tried one more time
"AAAARRRK PET ME SNAKE ME LOVELY"
This time Vangeline just ignored him.
The other animals looked disappointed. "Oook" Blundermonkey announced disapprovingly.
GoodBoy, giving in to his growing unease and taking advantage of the more open terrain, shifted into Dire Wolf form and stayed close to Vangeline. Blundermonkey checked his charges worriedly. He had done the best he could to dry his powder following his dunking, but given the general damp, it had been difficult. No way of telling whether his blunderbuss would actually fire, when he needed it to.
As they rounded a corner and approached the knoll, the island and the path grew narrower. And blocking the narrowest part, in plain view, was the snake.
It was huge, forty feet long at least and several feet thick. In form it most resembled a python, but sported the hood of a cobra. As they rounded the corner it hissed at them, and then spoke.
"Challllengersssss" it hissed. "It's been a loooong tiiiiime since I've had challengersssssss"
"I am so tired of fighting swamp monsters" said Vangeline. "Are you really going to make us fight you too?"
The snake considered it's reply.
"You must overcome meeee to passsss" he said. "But not neccessssarily by feat of coooombat"
"So we can pick the form of the contest?" asked Vangeline
"Yessssss" said the snake.
"Very well. A battle of Insults" she replied.
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The snake hadn't really had much of a chance. DirtyBird was seventy years old and sixty nine of those years had been as a crewman on various pirate ships. He had an eidetic memory for profanity and his delivery was flawless. After fifteen minutes of back and forth, the snake had conceded and moved aside. DirtyBird had thoroughly enjoyed the experience and was still chuckling.
"It's getting cold." said Vangeline. "And dark. This reminds me of visiting Mother." The rest of the animals sensed it as well. A cloud crossed the sun, temporarily plunging the island into shadow. And when it receded the island had changed.
"It's a skull" said Vangeline. "We've been walking on a skull. Just like the one at the end of the harbor, only bigger"
And at the top of the skull a figure waited for them, in a yellow jacket with a cane.
"Welcome Vangeline" said Pappa Carrefour. "I've been waiting for you."
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