The Thousand Isles - Entertaining the Governor

 

The heroes made their way down crowded Port Street, a collective bundle of nerves. Dakhir looked grim, Whisperleaf concerned, Ricmo nervous. Only The Sturg seemed his usual self, solid and unflappable behind his black helm. 

Freddy on the other hand seemed positively punch drunk, surrounded by the entourage he had assembled out of the flotsam and jetsam of Port Street; an entourage of drunks, whores, and whoever else happened to be at or around Black Alice's Brew when the royal summons had arrived. He laughed and joked with his posse, whistling a tune, as he jaunted down the road, surrounded by his score of companions.   

"I can't believe we are going back there. Isn't her husband going to be there?" wondered Ricmo. "Isn't the first order of business going to be to chop Freddy's head off? Or possibly other bits off? Isn't he king of this place?"

"No mon, not gonna be dat way" said Jean Pierre. "Remember, Erzulie favors them. Tha Governor won't dare to go again dat. That's not our way mon. Also, like I say, it not really her when the Loa is upon her. I know this be hard for ye outsiders to understan, but da Governor he will pretend it neva happen. Because it didn"

"Well at least Freddy thought to bring the entire bar with him. Be pretty hard to murder all of us and cover it up." observed Whisperleaf. "There must be thirty odd of them. My god they smell" 

Dakhir looked at the procession that accompanied them. Certainly not Haven Town's best and brightest, that was for sure, but about what you would expect to get when you announce to an entire tavern that they had all been invited to 'party at the Governor's keep, babies'. Dakhir smiled darkly. He imagined that whoever had written that summons was about to get a talking to, specificity with regards the phrasing of "yourself and your companions are hereby invited".  But they walked (or in some cases staggered and in one case rolled) along merrily, and there was no doubt they would provide some cover if things went south. 

"Beside' if  Governor Davila want to cut bits off ya friend, he not invite you all nice and proper to come perform for him now, would he?" continued Jean Pierre. "My guess be he want to show public like, to you, and to all his folk that he understan' the ways of the spirits and that he suppor' his wife in her role as priestess. Much ah his powa comes from her, and how much da common people love her 

Anyway, it's too late now, we here."

The keep was clearly expecting them and the soldiers at the gate barely blinked an eye at Freddy's entourage, but ushered them through the much larger crowd that was half blocking the huge rose colored doors and inside.

"What was that mob outside?" asked Dakhir, puzzled to Jean Pierre. "Is there some trouble? The don't seem angry, more festive, but certainly an odd bunch"

"There is always a crowd there mon, day, night, rain, or shine. They hope to catch a glimpse of Maria Cristina, petition her to intercede with the Loa for them. People come from miles upcounty too, and from other islands. One huge party. Best show in town, the Puerta Rosada, if you ask me."

The guards led them through the labyrinth passages of the keep and finally down a long, richly furnished hallway. Inside all was tasteful wealth, style and elegance,. The hall ended in a raised dais containing a pair of thrones, flanked by guards and tapestries, covered in rich carpets. 

Fantastic Freddy strode through that door and into the fabulous throne room, surrounded by thieves, drunks and whores, like a prince accompanied by his royal guard. Even the dwarf pirate vomiting on the entryway didn't throw him off his stride.

Standing on the dais, were Maria Cristina, and a short, dapper, richly dressed man that could only be His Excellency Governor Rodrigo Gonzalez Davila. A few courtiers and officers surrounded the throne, and something that could only be a jester sat on the first dais stair. 

Marus the Ranger sized up the room and didn't like the number of musketeers lining the walls. She was not happy to be here. She didn't like being in this big stone castle. She didn't like having all her exits and escape routes blocked by gods knows how many soldiers. She especially didn't like putting themselves in the hands of a Governor that had no cause to love them, especially given she was pretty certain Freddy had slept with his wife last night.  She had argued pretty vehemently against coming here, but Freddy had just smiled and announced he was answering the summons with or without them, and when push came to shove she had surprised herself by coming along. "He's probably under some spell still" she thought. "Wouldn't be right to abandon him". She fingered her bow and tried to look everywhere at once. 

The Governor didn't give the tension time to build though, with a practiced smile he spread his hands, beaming a welcome

"My friend, my talented friend, thank you for coming to entertain us! On such short notice, and in such enthusiastic numbers! Welcome to my home! Accept my gratitude! Please, enjoy yourselves!!!"

One of Freddy's entourage vomited on the carpet. The Governor's didn't even blink. 

"Yes yes! my friends, we are so glad you have chosen to brighten our dreary day with your music and your laughter!" agreed the Governor's wife, Maria Cristina. She clapped her hands together prettily, her excitement clearly genuine. 

The party looked at one another in bafflement. Jean Pierre smiled

"That carpet is going to be hell to get clean" thought Dakhir to himself bemusedly. "Looks expensive too."

Freddy smiled and nodded at the Governor, winked at Maria Cristina, and bowed deeply, pulling out the special microphone from  his jacket pocket as he did so, and extending the six foot floor stand with a flourish on the rise. 

Ever since he had woken up this afternoon, Freddy had felt like he was half asleep, half dreaming. Part of him realized that something very odd was happening, and that part was more than a little concerned, yammering away in the back of his mind about spells and ensorcellment, but the rest of him was content to just go with it, the flow was strong here and Freddy was tapping into it on a subconscious level. So when the invitation to the palace had come in it's fancy letter, it had seemed the most natural thing to agree to it, despite the protestations of his friends. Plus this way he got to see Maria Cristina again.

Freddy was interested in Maria Cristina, and he didn't give a damn about her husband. There was something about her rags to riches story, her charm, and energy, the passion that rivaled his own.  And the hint of mysterious power and danger, that was catnip to him. She was singing Freddy's song. So any excuse to spend more time with her, was sufficient to justify some risk.    

Freddy looked around, as the Governor waiting expectantly for a reply. He never liked long introductions before performances, he felt like only hacks had to artificially build anticipation, so he half saluted the Governor with a hand, then tapped his mic three times, and the band appeared behind him in a burst of fire, sulfur and brimstone.

Freddy didn't know how the microphone Red Alice had given him worked. He didn't know where The Band came from when he summoned them with it. Some hell dimension clearly, given the smell of sulfur that always accompanied them, and the clearly demoic (if diminutive) features on the two foot tall cloven foot creatures. However The Band were truly some amazing and flexible musicians, they could play any instrument and any genre, and most importantly they didn't seem to want to get paid,  or want anything really other then the opportunity to play gigs. Freddy figured it was probably better to not ask too many questions.

The tallest imp, Elwood, mouthed his ever present cigarette, plucked it out of his mouth, dropped it and crushed it out under his cloven hoof. "What's the tune Fred?" he asked.

Freddy started to suggest one of his favorite songs and something entirely different came out of his mouth. The name of a song he'd never heard before. Elwood nodded though, as if it made perfect sense and replied "You heard the man, in the key of ‘Weber’, Jake gonna need some strings, let's do this. Come on fellas, one, two, one two three..."

And Freddy found himself walking over to Maria Cristina, singing a song he'd never heard before, and singing it perfectly.

"That's a new one" said Whisperleaf. "Not really Freddy's normal style, but it seems to be appropriate. Oh my, bit too much truth in those lyrics, wow. Maria Cristina seems to like it though, she's singing it back to him"

 "The priest in the far corner." interrupted Marus. "He is watching us. I remember his face from earlier, at the temple. When Lightbringer had his...incident." 

"Lovely" Dakhir groaned.

"Should I kill him?" Marus asked, fingering her bow. Marus had never really figured out the rules of human social interactions.

"No no, that won't do" said Whisperleaf hurriedly as Dakhir seemed to be seriously considering the suggestion. "Let's try talking to him first please."

Dakhir motioned to The Sturg and while Freddy sang and his entourage danced, the remaining party members casually strolled over to the priest.   

The priest clearly saw them coming, his eyes fixated on Lightbringer. Before the party could speak, he burst out excitedly.

"Are you HIM? You are, aren't you? From the temple two days ago?" Lightbringer nodded. Dakhir groaned internally again, as 'nope not me' seemed a much more prudent response. The priest seemed to get even more excited 

"I was there, I saw the light and heard you speak. Is it true, did you really see HIM. Mithra? Our God?"

"Yes I was so blessed" said Lightbringer tranquilly. "Several times. He sold me this armor."

"WHAAAAT" said Dakhir, Ricmo and Whisperleaf in unison, sputtering. Marus grasp on her bow became white knuckled. 

"Yes" said Lightbringer. At the shop. Though at that time I did not know it was Him. Then later He came to me in a vision, in the temple, and I realized it was He."

"Wait a minute, the proprietor in the shop? The one I was haggling with? I called him a 'wretched whoreson' said Dakhir. "That was your God? I called him a 'senile old fool' You didn't think to mentioned this earlier?"

Ricmo starting chuckling, a chuckle that quickly migrated into a full on halfling belly laugh, as tears started pouring down his face.   

"Mysterious ways" he gasped out through the guffaws. "Mysterious ways indeed. You're going to hell for sure now Dakhir"

"I know" Dakhir replied.

-----------------

Whisperleaf, Dakhir, Radiant and the priest were intently talking religion. Religion bored Ricmo. He firmly believed in gods, no doubt, but that was like believing in gravity. Obvious and uninteresting. He could see the advantage of having one or two gods on his side, he was sure they'd be good in a fight. But the overhead seemed high to him. Gods came with too many rules, and way too much committent. 

He sat, bored, listening to the music and watching the dancing while the others talked about how there were evidently the Orthodox Clerics of Mithra, that had gotten too fat and rich and this bothered another group of clerics of Mithra (called the Reformistas apparently). Ricmo wondered idly why anyone would be bothered by that. Getting rich seemed to be half the point of being a priest as far as he could tell. Probably these Reformista didn't think they were getting their proper cut, were looking to muscle in on the action. he thought wisly to himself. 

Wait, something as happening. A new group had just entered the audience chamber and Ricmo's street senses were tingling. The way they walked, or rather strutted in their fancy clothes, their hands on the hilts of their expensive rapiers, the way they clustered close together around the tall blond man that was clearly their leader, the forced laughter, Ricmo had felr that vibe before., That was the vibe of a street gang wandering into another street gangs turf,  looking for trouble.  

"Hey guys." said Ricmo. "Trouble"

Ricmo was not the only eyes to notice the new guests. Maria Cristina saw them from where she was slow dancing with her husband to one of Freddy's more mellow numbers. She straightened, slipping from her husbands grasp, an annoyed expression momentarily flickering across her face before she schooled it back under control.  

"Why Michael De Rojas, what a pleasure to see you here" her voice cutting through Freddy's song like a knife. "And completely uninvited as well. How utterly thrilling" she purred. 

The leader of the bravos replied coolly

"Lovely to see you as well Maria." His cold eyes took in the crowd, including Freddy's entourage who were busily helping them to food and drink that likely cost more coin then they would see in a year. "I see some of your old family has decided to drop by. Did you ever think about bathing them before you invited them to befoul my ancestors halls?"

One of the whores Freddy had brought with him, misreading everything but the fact that new, wealthy, potential clients had entered her kill zone, sauntered over to the leader. 

"Hi" she said in her best sultry. "I'm Candy." Michael De Rojas looked at her and smiled. "Of course you are."

"He's looking for a fight" said Ricmo in a whisper to his companions. 

"That's the last thing we need" replied Whisperleaf. "A slow smile. "Watch this" Whisperleaf quietly started chanting. 

Michael De Rojas brushed Candy aside and, locking eyes with Mara Cristina, and started making his way across the ballroom. But as he pressed through the crowd, all around him, the signs of olfactory distress became evident. 

"What der hell be that stench!. Egads boy wacha been eeetin" said a drunken dwarven sailor as De Rojas pressed past him. "gods wounds man yer bowels smell like ten day old eel"

Dakhir did a double take at Whisperleaf who smiled back evily. Dakhir returned the smile and started chanting himself

De Rojas and his crew did their best to ignore the foul stench that was wafting around them. 

"Maria, I am surprised, even for you this group seems a trifle trash..." the huge sound of flatulence from De Rojas and the stench redoubled.

"My GODS boy that’s gee-in me the boak " said the sailor. "Take that outside for gods sake"

"Don't speak to me you low born..." more flatulency. This time the back of De Rojas trousers were noticeably wet.

"My good Michael, you seem to be in some distress" said the Governor with a twinkle in his eye.

"Some distress!, Der boy have a dead eel up his bung" said the sailor slurring.

"Say that again and I will demand satisfaction!" shouted de Rojas, eyes flashing hand on rapier.

"Perhaps we should summon the court physician my love?" suggested Maria Crintina merrily. "Our good friend Michael is clearly in some difficulty. Perhaps too much squid?" 

Dakhir and Whisperleaf locked merry eyes, hands and mouths moving furiously as the cantrips were woven. The final explosion of sound and smell was too severe to be believed. Even De Roja's friends turned green.

"Arg that's done it then" groaned the dwarven pirate, as he bended over and vomited all over De Roja's shoes. 

-------

Later in the Governors private smoking room, Dakhir, Whisperleaf, Freddy, The Sturg and Ricmo engage in a private conversation with the Governor and his lady. Radiant Lightbringer was noticeably absent, having gone off with Marus watchdogging, to tell the story of his divine visitation to some gathering of Reformistas. 

"My good Freddy I don't know what you did to De Rojas, but I haven't laughed that hard in years." chucked the Governor. "What an insufferable prick that boy is. And his grandfather for that matter. Thorns in my side, thorns in my side". Maria Cristina merely glowed in delight. 

Freddy opened his mouth to deny, and then catching a quick glare from Dakhir, closed it again and shrugged and smiled.  "Just doing my best to keep the peace, daddy'o"

Maria Cristina became serious at that and reached over to pat Freddy on the knee. "Be careful of him Ma Cherie. He is young and a fool but there is no one in all of Haven more skilled with a blade. He has killed a dozen men in duels. He will not forget such humiliation." Freddy just nodded but somehow, from where he sat in the corner, The Sturg radiated renewed interest.

"See my dear, I told you, that Erzulie brought these to us for a reason. It is fated that we and they are friends and allies".  

"No doubt my love no doubt." said the Governor swirling his brandy in it’s sniffer absentmindedly. The Governor had an easy way about him, thought Ricmo. Not a bad sort for a posh. And this was good brandy.

"Excuse me Ricmo, but that pouch you are playing with looks familiar. Did i see that dangling from de Rojas belt earlier?" asked Maria Cristina sweetly.

"Uh. oh yeah. He musta dropped it during his hurried exit. I uh, picked it up, I'll make sure to get it back to him" said Ricmo.

"I'm sure you will" replied Maria Cristina, eyes sparkling merrily.

"So what brings you to Haven? Do you plan to stay long?" asked Maria Cristina. 

"Not too long" replied Whisperleaf. 

"Our friend Radiant seems to have gotten on the wrong side of your local clergy" Dakhir tested tentatively. 

"Oh yes I heard something about that. Insufferable boars the Orthodox Church, but not to be trifled with. Giving some space and time to those...doctrinal disputes may be wise, they seem quite stirred up. Have you given any thought to where you will be headed then?"

Dakhir decided to take a chance. "Likely Skull River Bay, your Eminence. We have some business there"

The Governor and his wife exchanged glances. "Fated indeed" the Governor murmured quietly. "And have you a ship?"

"Yes my lord, a good ship and strong. But we have heard that a convoy is required to sail those seas" replied Whisperleaf.

"Yes indeed, Pirates being what they are these days."

The Governor leaned in, his expression intense.

"Look my friends, my wife says the Loa have sent you to us, Madam Erzulie herself. And Maria is never wrong about these things. It so happens that I have also some business to attend to in Skull River Bay, or rather my man Davis here needs to attend to it for me. But I have no ship to send, at least no ship that won't attract the wrong sort of attention. I can arrange your membership in a reliable convoy that leaves in three days time. I can pay you for transporting my man to the Reaches and I can pay you even more if you make yourself available to assist him in his endeavors. And in return I will happily assist you in yours. I feel like we are of kindred spirits, you and I. What say you?"

Dakhir, Ricmo and Whisperleaf hesitated and looked at one another as if to say "what are we getting ourselves into exactly here". At that point Maria Cristina reached over and placed her hand on Freddy's knee again.

"Will you help us Freddy? Help me?" Her eyes bored into his.

"Of course" Freddy replied without hesitation.

"Shit" thought Dakhir